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Wednesday 27 October 2010

New York's Phone Booth Bachelor Seeks 'Very Promiscuous' Gal

Malik Turner, a 40 year-old Manhattan man who works for UPS, is tired of the bar scene and skeptical of internet dating. So he went ahead and posted some very direct personal ads on pay phone booths. Ladies?

Malik notes in his phone booth flier that he is 40, black, a "sorter/ bagger" for UPS, and a fan of the Rangers, Jets, Mets, and Lakers, as well as cats and tigers, Chinese and Italian food, Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Jeep Grand Cherokees, Hummers, movies, nightclubs, Atlantic City, video games, roller skating, ice skating, playing pool, riding the subway, and hip hop, dance, house, freestyle, techno, disco, reggae, and reggaeton music.

So what is Malik looking for?

Malik is looking for a white or Hispanic woman of American, Canadian, Hispanic, British, Australian, Italian, Swedish, and/ or Native American background, from 21-45 years old, with blond or red hair, which MUST BE LONG. She will be big-chested, leggy, curvy, voluptuous (NOT FAT), with a gorgeous face and long fingernails. A non-smoker and social drinker, she is Very Promiscuous, into 3-somes (2 girls one guy) as well as 4-somes (3 girls one guy). Malik's dream woman is an employed non-Gold Digger willing to take turns paying for dates and happy to use condoms during sex, drug and disease free, who favors mini-skirts, Daisy Duke shorts, and spiked heels (5-6 inches high).

Hookers, she-males, transsexuals, transvestites, and dominatrixes: please look for love elsewhere.

Ladies, Malik's phone number is right there on the flier. He is one man unafraid to stand up and tell the truth, for love. We salute you, Malik Turner. May all your dreams come true.

[NYP. And apparently Malik's search has been underway for some time—photo of 2009 ad via Sassy Two Socks]